well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
