i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize