She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
