I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude i'm inner monologue high
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
