that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
