Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what day is it and did you see me today?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
