that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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