youre lurking in front of me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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