For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you had me at cake vodka
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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