So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
