Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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