Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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