Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize