i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
