her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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