Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
