dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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