I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
