he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
