I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
