you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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