I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
