I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
