Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
