No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This is my gift to your gina
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
