you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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