just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
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I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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