Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize