Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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