Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
