Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
