if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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