i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize