there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
