Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that's an acceptable place to lick
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
