I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
