I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
