your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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