I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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