Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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