I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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