What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
