You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize