Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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