I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
