I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
