i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
