I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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