how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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