in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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