I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
