I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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