I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
