Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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