I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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