Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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