I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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