This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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