wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you would pick up someone in the library
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
