no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
