at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
