i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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