I want to make a zoo with you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
