I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize