I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
